Voice Doctor...

Hey everyone, 

It's been a while since i've done this, but I've been going to an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist) to see what's going on with my vocal chords. When I saw the ENT, he showed me that I have polyps/nodules, which are NOT what a singer wants to hear at all. He said "Let's try giving it a rest for 2 weeks, to see if that changes it at all" which at this time I was doing 4 to 5 gigs a weekend, plus yelling at TopGolf the rest of the week. I started seeing a Speech Pathologist, and she really helped me a lot. Naturally I had to cut out TopGolf, because there was NO WAY ON EARTH I was giving up my music. It means that much to me. 

Well, I do my best to not sing, but it's a harder task then I thought! Plus, now that I don't have a job how will I make my income? I've got bills to pay! I felt like I was getting better, and had a positive outlook on todays revisit. We had scheduled a time for me to come in after the two weeks, and my Speech Path doctor said that I need another 2 weeks... You can imagine how frustrated I was. But, when it comes to my voice, i'll do just about anything! 

Today we scheduled a follow up appointment to have me scoped to see the progress I was making. I was nervous, but optimistic because if I was honest with myself, it didn't hurt to sing anymore! I was thinking "Maybe they've gone down? I mean, I know they're not gone, but I feel like i've gotten better"

NO. SUCH. LUCK. I've STILL got the polyps/nodules and they say I need to FULLY take 2 weeks of NOT... SINGING... AT... ALL... ANND, if that doesn't help: SURGERY.  If anyone knows me, they know this is QUITE DIFFICULT. I couldn't help it, I broke down right there in the office thinking... SURGERY? NOT SINGING? This can't be happening... this is what I love to do... what...? 

I'm going to try the 2 weeks of NO SINGING, and i'll keep you all updated, but i'm not so optimistic about this one... (especially since the doctor said he doesn't think it will help) 

Love you all, Jess